A catalog of the well-meaning, the clueless, and the truly unhinged things people say about fertility—to women, to men, to couples, to anyone on this path. Documented. And paired with responses—from diplomatic to delightfully absurd. You choose.
Family dinners. Office kitchens. Checkout queues. The comments arrive gift-wrapped in good intentions and leave you searching for words that won't burn bridges—or get you arrested.
If you've heard these, you're not alone. If you've said them, you're also not alone—and now you know better.
From the gracious deflection to the gloriously unhinged. Every comment comes with all four, at three spice levels. Because sometimes you need options.
How many have you collected? Mark the ones you've heard. Add your own special gem in the middle. Export for your support group—or just as evidence that this is, in fact, a thing.
Infertility and childlessness can feel like a loss no one acknowledges. No funeral, no casseroles, no "sorry for your loss." Just silence—or worse, advice. The grief hits everyone involved—the person going through treatment, and the partner holding their hand through it. The Protocol is part of Matterhood, a community for people walking this path. Whatever brought you here: you belong.
VISIT MATTERHOOD →Heard something that belongs here? Your experience matters. No personal details required—just the words that landed.
This archive exists for everyone navigating infertility, childlessness, or loss—regardless of gender. If you've heard it, you've earned the right to document it.
Matterhood is a community for anyone navigating the weight of fertility, childlessness, or loss. Essays, dark humor, real talk—no toxic positivity.
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You don't owe anyone an explanation. But if you want one ready—one that doesn't involve screaming—we've got you.
ENTER THE ARCHIVE